2 required days & counting

philip has been a real dick today. sometimes, when i have particularly hard days dealing with him i want to hurt him back just as he's been hurting me. but then i think: thats not what God would want me to do. and plus, what have i to be bitter about? i have the sweetest, funniest boyfriend who treats me like royalty and makes me feel beautiful and loved. what more could i ask for? i also dont think i have it in me to be cruel to him. i did love him more than the air. and i cant say that i still do, but i do still care. we were incredibly close.
so yea, he's kinda ruining graduation for me. but i wont let him!!! 8 days til i graduate with honors. i never imagined i would graduate with honors. i hope like hell my mother doesnt get drunk and forget to show up.

Pacify me

so, today was kinda strange. good okay, i guess. i need to start going to school more often. i missed friday and monday (yesterday) and i have so much damn homework that i cant convince myself to start it. graduation is coming up so quick and im not ready for it. ill work through this summer and take a phlebotomy course in the fall. may have to find a new job if i cant work my schedule around taking my brother to summer school. im kinda thinking about SRU but i dont know if i can find the time or money. or rather the time to make the money. so for now, ill sit here alone with my cat curled up in my lap wishing i were somewhere with Ron. gotta get my head straight.

A pic of me

The Fragile

wow. im writing this b/c i need to. for myself, b/c ive been having trouble breathing lately. its been a crazy month of ups and downs. unfortunatly, more downs than ups. but im finally happy again. i think that if you share your experiences, then others can learn from them and draw strength. so maybe im doing this for everyone who reads this....